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| Recently in my wonderful (note sarcasm)
home state of Oregon, there have been a few brutal killings. A man (who was apparently
very religious; oh, you know it) decided one day to kill his wife and his three
kids. First of all, let me be the first to say this. What a fucking fantastic
person this guy is. Now, this guy was caught a few days ago, and has since been
taken into custody and put on suicide watch. Which brings me to the crux of the
matter. Why a suicide watch? I mean, of this type? I suggest we give him as many
shoelaces as he wants, a belt, and possibly a cyanide pill (though you have to
make the cyanide impure so he has a little pain). The suicide watch I propose
would be a watch in the most literal sense of the word. I would sell tickets for
people to watch this guy kill himself. I mean, come on, he murdered his entire
family, three of which were children. If he were innocent, why would he kill himself
to escape prosecution? From what I can tell, innocent people always believe they
are going to be found innocent, so there would be no suicide to worry about there.
But why do we need to keep this guy alive? I say we let him commit whatever form
of suicide he wants, and that will be a form of automatic death penalty.
Email me: tyler@childprogeny.com Sign my guestbook. Back to updates. |