Look at this pile of grease. Just looking at it makes you gain weight.

Because I just recently found out about this new law suit against McDonalds (due to the fact that I woke up yesterday for the first time in half a week, dressed in high-heels and a poodle skirt, no less), I have not so far ridiculed these fat asses. Well, I am now rectifying this situation. What the hell is wrong with these people? First of all, they eat at McDonalds. That is the first thing wrong with them. Second, everybody knows that McDonalds food is packed with fat (among other things). Have you ever heard the term "you are what you eat"? Well, in this case, these people are fat. And probably trace amounts of rat, fingernails, hair, and ground up used condom. But I digress. The point is, everybody knows that eating McDonalds makes you fat. It's not like they actually committed a crime (other than making shitty food). All they did was sell a legal product. I agree that there should be laws passed to forbid these bastards from selling such shitty food, but not because it makes people fat. Because it's shitty food. Imagine these people on the stand...

Lawyer: So, you blame your fatass status on McDonalds?
Fatass: That's correct.
Lawyer: So it has nothing to do with you being a fucking retard?
Fatass: Well, I wouldn't say retard...
Lawyer: I would.
Fatass: Oh, well then yeah.
Lawyer: I think I rest my case.
Fatass: Thanks for talking to me.
Lawyer: Die and rot in hell.