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Hahaha, say hello to REX!
Remember my plan to become a hermit? If not, go back and read it, or ignore my wishes and keep reading this one. The hermit plan is still in, but I am no longer going to live in a run down shack because that would do nothing but punish me. My new plan is to live in a caslte. That's right, a castle, but not a normal feudal lord style castle; I'm going to have a castle like the ones in those shitty anime movies. You guessed it, my castle will have four .50 cal machine guns mounted around the perimeter wall on the turrets. These are automatically tracking machine guns that are programmed to do one thing. If I don't turn it off by remote, they will kill anything that doesn't match the heat signature of my guard pet. Oh, I didn't tell you about my guard pet? Well guess what it is. That's right, you guessed it (probably not), a timberwolf. Nobody is coming over to my house uninvited, because if they somehow outsmart the machine guns, there's no way they are going to get past the blind aggression of my faithful timberwolf. When was the last time you heard of a house being robbed by some dirty thief when it was guarded by a motherfucking timberwolf? Oh, that's right, never. This little doggie will weigh in at approximately 140 pounds of muscle, claws, and steely teeth. You want to come over and bother me, you goddamn Jahovah's Witnesses? That's fine. Get past my doggie and my machine guns. What now, goddamn you and your superior smiles and sighs about eternal damnation. Eat lead, you poster child for the used car salesman.
Email me: tyler@childprogeny.com
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