![]() You should look like this when you go out, since everyone knows that if you wear black, nobody can see you. This guide will teach you how to break in to a house without being seen. Of course, the first thing you need to do is buy a bunch of black combat fatigues from a military surplus store. This will help you get in the stealing groove, since all people that wear combat fatigues are criminals. An even better alternative would be to steal a death shroud from a funeral home (this will render you completely invisible to the naked eye). The next thing you do is order an H&K G3, and wear it under your death shroud (or over your combat fatigues if you went the amateur way). ![]() Go to a supermarket and purchase two sticks of celery. The kind that comes in a whole circle, not split in half. Then order some plastique from the same place you got the G3 from. You can also opt to save money on shipping and order them both at the same time. Pack the plastique into the celery stick, and place the detonater on one end. Wait till it's about 2:00am. Now you're ready to go. Drive (or walk) to a house that you think looks promising. It doesn't matter if it has people in it or anything, it's irrelevant. Sneak up to the front door of the house (acting like you're eating the celery - don't actually eat it though, that could be bad). Place a piece of celery on each side of the door and set the detonater to 5 seconds. This gives you just enough time to set the other and sprint away, dive behind your car, and watch the first one blow up before the second one, annihalating the door in a huge blast of fire and sound. This is where you need to act quickly. Somebody will have probably woken up in the house, if they're home. You need to unsling the G3 and run into the house. If you see anyone (men, women, children, dogs, cats, hamsters, goldfish, etc.) you need to immediately blow the shit out of it before it sounds the alarm. Then sack everything in the house, and calmly walk back out to your car (or directly back to your house). You have to walk slowly, or people will take notice that you're in a hurry, and you'll be arrested. Congratulations, you've just robbed a house! Email me: tyler@childprogeny.com Sign my guestbook. Back to updates. |